Who am I to Judge Another?

I was shocked, confused, bewildered as I entered Heaven’s door,

Not by the beauty of it all, nor the lights or its decor.

But it was the folks in Heaven who made me sputter and gasp–

The thieves, the liars, the sinners, the alcoholics and the trash.

There stood the kid from seventh grade who swiped my lunch money twice.

Next to him was my old neighbor who never said anything nice.

Herb, who I always thought was rotting away in hell,

Was sitting pretty on cloud nine, looking incredibly well.

I nudged Jesus, ‘What’s the deal? I would love to hear your take.

How’d all these sinners get up here? God must’ve made a mistake.

‘And why’s everyone so quiet, so somber – give me a clue.’

‘Child,’ He said, ‘they’re all in shock. They never thought they’d be seeing you!’

      While working with less actives on my mission, I frequently found myself needing to reiterate the fact that though we belong to a perfect church, the church of Jesus Christ Himself, the members of it are not perfect. We've been taught to serve one another, have charity and to love our enemies, but sometimes, even among members of the church, we find it more appealing to gossip, make snap judgments, withhold a word of kindness or act of service from someone we've formed negative views of. We are so quick to find fault in others but quick to justify our own mistakes and flaws.

      President Uctdorf taught this principle in October 2014's General Conference in his address, "Lord, Is It I?" He teaches us the following:

It was our beloved Savior’s final night in mortality, the evening before He would offer Himself a ransom for all mankind. As He broke bread with His disciples, He said something that must have filled their hearts with great alarm and deep sadness. “One of you shall betray me,” He told them. The disciples didn’t question the truth of what He said. Nor did they look around, point to someone else, and ask, “Is it him?” Instead, “they were exceeding sorrowful, and began every one of them to say unto him, Lord, is it I?” I wonder what each of us would do if we were asked that question by the Savior. Would we look at those around us and say in our hearts, “He’s probably talking about Brother Johnson. I’ve always wondered about him,” or “I’m glad Brother Brown is here. He really needs to hear this message”? Or would we, like those disciples of old, look inward and ask that penetrating question: “Is it I?” In these simple words, “Lord, is it I?” lies the beginning of wisdom and the pathway to personal conversion and lasting change.

      Have you ever heard someone say (or been guilty of saying something like this yourself) something like "Can you believe they let their daughter out of the house wearing that? That would never happen in my house!" Or "She's such a slob, I would never allow my house to get that messy or to let the laundry get that behind!" (<<Have some mercy, the struggle is real.) How about, "Why aren't they in church again? They are the laziest people in the ward." We are so quick to judge our brothers and sisters when we lack context. Too often, we make a quick judgement only to realize later on that those individuals are facing difficult trials. We aren't with them every moment of every day. We don't hear what they talk about with their Heavenly Father. We don't know their hearts, their backgrounds, or what they are striving to be. We cannot judge the experiences we haven't had first hand, and even then, every person has experienced them differently. Who are we to appoint ourselves as judges in Israel and pinpoint those individuals we feel aren't going to make it to Heaven? And more than that, why are we playing for Satan's team by thinking negatively of people rather than giving them the benefit of the doubt? 

       I saw a post from a friend on social media this week that said, "Smoking doesn't necessarily make you a bad person just like going to church doesn't necessarily make you a good person." This totally cracked me up and then it really made me look inward and ask myself if I justify certain behaviors in myself simply because I am a routine-Christian. I go to church, I hold a calling, I try to be nice to people, but is that really enough to make me a good person? Though we may be in church every Sunday, we would do well to analyze the type of person we are when we leave the chapel. Are we selfless? Do we serve those who need our help whole-heartedly? Do we strive to love and forgive our enemies? It's easy to love those who are faithful in church callings, who are witty and fun to be around, and who appear to have it all together. What about those who are a little quirky and weird? What about those who have a really rocky past and have said offensive things in the past? What about the family that only shows up to church once every couple of months. Do we love them? Or do we jump to judgmental conclusions that the gospel obviously isn't important to them? As ridiculous as that sounds, it's sometimes the thought we have. "She doesn't dress modestly, so she must not care about the commandments or have any standards.", or "He simply acts like a faithful member on Sundays and then leaves it all at the door for the rest of the week, he obviously has no testimony or desire to follow Christ." Who the heck do we think we are?!  Aren't those who are in need of our love more than anyone else? 

"Who am I to judge another

When I walk imperfectly?

In the quiet heart is hidden

Sorrow that the eye can't see.

Who am I to judge another?

Lord, I would follow Thee."

Hymn #220, 'Lord I Would Follow Thee'

     What if all sins had a scent? Someone who smokes or drinks alcohol has a distinct smell on their breath and their clothing. It is easy to pick up on and almost always immediately recognized. When we smell individuals like that, for some reason we start to think, "Oh how sad, he's lost, unhappy, and I'm obviously doing better than he is.." We can't see the person behind the bottle of beer or the cigarette in their hand. All we can see is someone who has made one mistake and all possibilities of being a good person go out the window. But what if lying and dishonesty had its own scent? What if you could smell pride? Breaking the law of chastity? Not reading scriptures? We might give people a bit more slack if we started to realize we're all categorized as sinners. Aren't we all in need of the Atonement? Too often we are much too like the Pharisees who probably pushed Christ's buttons more than anybody. They were overly critical of everyone, even the Savior. Their character was prideful and their mission was to boast of their own knowledge and point out the flaws of others. Are we latter-day saints or latter-day pharisees? The fact of the matter is that the gospel and the community of the church should be a safe place for everyone. It's been said that the church is a hospital for sick individuals to come and be treated, not a museum to display already perfected saints. It's about time we all re-committed ourselves to loving the sinner and recognizing that we fall in the same category. 

      

   So, what if those we judge really are just kind of mean? What if they are flaky members? What if they are sinners? What is they aren't deserving of kindness or Christ-like love? LOVE THEM ANYWAY. I'm sure we wont get to the other side and reflect back on our lives thinking, "Sheesh, I did a whole lot of loving down there. I really wish I would have spent my time differently." Yeah right. It's interesting to look at the life of the Savior and recognize that His time wasn't spent with fellow royalty, with governmental leaders or other significant figures in that time period. He spent time with the beggars, the lepers and the poor. Those who were most in need of His attention and love were sought after and given that chance.

"If you treat an individual as if he were what he ought to be and could be, he will become what he ought to be and could be."

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

“Treat a man as he is, and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he could be, and he will become what he should be.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

      The church provides countless opportunities to seek out those who need our love and attention and to act with the pure love of Christ. Visiting and Home teaching are such overlooked blessings to practice Christ-like love and to treat people better than they deserve. Accepting callings and supporting those who are called is an opportunity to look inward and practice humility, while looking outward and seeing the good in others. Service projects and other church activities allow us to focus on someone else rather than ourselves. It provides an opportunity to seek out others, as the Savior did, to provide them with relief and comfort. If you can't find any opportunities, you may need to spend some time on your knees repenting and analyzing yourself.

      Give people the benefit of the doubt. Assume the best and doubt the worst. Remind yourself you don't know what the Lord is having them go through. Assume they are doing the very best they are capable of at that present time in their lives. And when it seems too difficult to manage a positive thought about someone or to offer a sincere and kind word, you remember just how merciful and kind the Lord has been to you when you've given Him plenty of reasons to push you aside, but didn't.