I've always been really grateful for those people who don't ignore the awkward silences or their heart pounding right out of their Sunday best to get up and share their testimonies. I have received so many answers to prayers and so much needed comfort as I watch members of my ward stand and share the personal and intimate experiences they are having with their Heavenly Father. And it always knocks me upside the head with the reminder that I am expected to share my experiences too. Yesterday's fast and testimony meeting was probably nothing out of the ordinary to the outsider's opinion. But for me, I heard a few things that I really needed to hear.
Laurie stood up at the podium and rocked my world. She and her husband are empty nesters and she's truly one of the most kind women I've ever met. Since I've known her in our ward, she's always gone to great lengths to compliment me and make sure I've felt welcomed and wanted in the ward. She's the bomb.com. She started to talk about transitions.
"Junior High is a great time to form friendships with both boys and girls. It's a fun time of our lives, but it's not the right time to be dating. Once High School hits, it's a fun time to go on lots of dates with lots of different people. But it's not the time, or the season, to steady date." She continued talking about different phases or "seasons" throughout our lives and the importance of understanding that these seasons happen on the Lord's time frame and that we cannot change what is to happen in certain seasons.
The familiar scripture in the Old Testament came to my mind.
" To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.." Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
There is something that I have been wanting. I've been wanting something so badly and have been asking the Lord for it for quite some time now. And I am NOT a patient woman. In my mind, it's a righteous desire of my heart and my intentions are good. However, for some reason, the Lord just isn't giving it to me. I don't like to wait. I like things given to me immediately. I like knowing how long it's going to take before I can get somewhere or obtain something. I'm sure the Lord is enjoying just watching me go stir crazy down here trying to be patient. I've thrown myself frequent pity parties as I've watched others I know well with the blessings I so desperately want. I've spent hours upon hours on my knees begging the Lord at times, and becoming frustrated with Him at others. "You give this blessing so freely to others, why am I any different!? What I am doing that is SO wrong that you wont give me this righteous blessing?!" I've become really comfortable telling my Father in Heaven exactly what I think and feel. It's been a frustrating yet humbling experience for me to rely on the Lord and recognize that He must know something I don't. This experience I have had that has been so difficult for me is something that may appear effortless or not trying at all to others. I am grateful that the Lord recognizes that some of His children just flat out struggle with different things more than others. This is one of mine.
When Laurie stood and talked about the seasons, it hit me like a brick wall. I recognized that the Lord wasn't withholding this blessing because He didn't love me or because I was imperfect, rather it just isn't the season. For some reason, I will be more prepared or in a better position to receive those desired blessings in a later season. This scripture in Ecclesiastes has a modern translation that I hear all the time; everything happens for a reason, it will all work out. It's additional knowledge that I can add to my testimony to help push me through difficult times and change me into the woman God wants and expects me to become. Rarely do we have more problems than we do blessings. I know that in the season of the Lord, all blessings come at some point.
“Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don't come until heaven; but for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come.”
Elder Jeffrey R. Holland
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