I remember an experience I had on my mission that helped me understand exactly how God might feel while giving His children trials and correction. I had a companion who I dearly loved. (I never really had one I didn't.) She came at a time I really needed her and she helped me in so many aspects of missionary life. We had an awesome relationship and it really made teaching so effortless. We were just about to start our second transfer together when I noticed that she was doing something disobedient. It wasn't anything serious or anything that really interfered with our work, but I knew it was against mission rules. I debated for days whether or not I should say anything. We had such a great friendship, she had taught me so much, and I was a newer missionary. Who was I to correct her? More than anything, I really didn't want to undo the friendship we had and cause friction in our companionship. I prayed about it every day and the spirit gave me some of the best mission advice I have ever received.
"If what your companion is doing keeps her from being an obedient and worthy missionary, you have a sacred duty to lovingly correct her. If what she is doing does NOT keep her from being an obedient and worthy missionary, you have a sacred duty to practice patience and the love of Christ, and you are the one who needs to change."
Oh. My. Lanta. Seriously, some of the best spiritual advice I have ever gotten. And it blessed so many of my companionships. I decided that I needed to tell this companion how I was feeling. I practiced how I would say it, prayed about it, and waited for a good time to bring up the issue. Well. It did NOT go well. She was upset, her feelings were hurt and it really did not have the effect on our companionship that I thought it would. The next few days were full of tension, long quiet walks, and very little support in lessons. I felt terrible. I started regretting even bringing up the issue. I am a bit of a people-pleaser and I HATE contention. I felt bad that I had caused this tension in our companionship and knew that we had 5 long weeks ahead of us left in the transfer. There were multiple times I almost retreated only to tell her it wasn't that big of a deal and that I was sorry. But the spirit always stopped me. Which I really hated. I wanted the tension to go away and for our friendship to come right back. A few days later, we talked about it again. This time, both of our hearts were softened and we were both willing to change. We talked about how I could help her to be obedient and she offered some correction to me on how I could also improve. We had a successful final transfer together and our relationship improved overall because we worked out the issue.This experience has helped me to look through God's eyes about how He feels giving trials to His children. His work and His glory is to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man (Moses 1:39). All His work is centered around helping His children become like He is and eventually give us all He has. The trials and heartaches of this life are given to us, not as a punishment for failure to live the gospel perfectly, but rather as a demonstration of God's love. A scripture I came to love on my mission is spoken by the apostle Paul:
"Whom the Lord loveth, He correcteth." Proverbs 3:12Because we are all mortally-minded, we often can't see the big picture while we are facing difficult times. This week I thought about all those times I've knelt to pray, only to tell God how upset I am with Him and what He's allowed me to go through. I have dragged my feet bitterly and questioned why He would push me so hard if He really loved me. I thought about my mission and how difficult it was to correct my companion. I was sad to see her distance herself from me. I loved her immensely and just wanted her to be the best missionary she could be. When she would respond negatively towards me I felt terrible and just wanted her to know that I corrected her because I knew she could be better. I loved her and wanted her to find happiness in knowing she was being an obedient missionary. That experience gave me a very small glance into how God might feel as He allows those trials to come into our lives. All He wants is for me to understand that He corrected, broke, and pushed me because He sincerely loves me and wants me to be better. He wants me to find satisfaction and happiness in knowing I am fulfilling His plan for me. He wants me to learn vital lessons and principles that will shape me into the woman I need to be in order to prepare myself for eternal life. Love is not just simply present while trials are given, rather love is ALWAYS His motive. The primary lesson learned this week is that God loves His children. Such an obvious doctrine, but I love that the spirit can teach it over and over again and have such a uniquely different and powerful impact every time.
I am grateful for trials and moments that have stretched me. I am grateful for the heart surgery God is constantly performing on me to help me change. I know that correction, missed opportunities, heartache, and rejection prepare us to become more like the Savior. I know the love of God never departs from any of His children, especially during the storms of life. Can I get an amen?
