Being blessed with crafty sisters and a "whatever makes you happy" husband-to-be are just the beginning of my list of blessings. Wonderful in-laws, supportive parents, wise church leaders, a professional photographer in the family, and adorable nieces and nephews that I get to adopt are worthy mentions. And getting ready to spend eternity with someone who cherishes Panda Express as much as I do is just icing to the cake.
Chris and I met in high school where I borderline stalked him with the rest of the Sophomore girls in my class. He was a senior and Julie Andrews would agree when I say he was "practically perfect in every way." He was known and liked by EVERYONE. He seemed to be in every club and was the most well-rounded guy I knew. He made my little heart go pitter-patter with any small thing I noticed about him. While on the Varsity basketball team, he always wore a t-shirt on the court to be modest. (Modest is hottest!) He was always smiling and I never heard him say a negative thing about anyone. What a gem.My stalking from a distance didn't really do much for me except encourage the boy even further to leave the country and go on a mission. Letter-writing was casual and not very frequent, (anyone else feel like the postal service would be out of service without Mormon missionaries?) but when they came, there were plenty of squeals and "aww!"'s to go around. I knew how much he loved the people of Brazil and I saw just how much he loved the Lord when he shared personal experiences and testimonies.
When Chris came home, I was a more mature (by that I mean, slightly less stalker-ish) sophomore-to-be at Dixie State College where I played tennis. He came home over the Summer and that allowed me to attend his farewell. That poor boy couldn't speak a lick of English...I kind of wanted to throw a dictionary at his cute little head..The message he gave was so full of humility and gratitude toward the Savior. You can always kind of sense the missionaries who went and enjoyed themselves while they were out and just kind of let time pass by, and then there are those who come back with that mighty change of heart that Alma is always reminding us of. (Alma 5:14) I remember sitting back and looking up at him thinking, "He did it right. He really served his mission." I sent him a very mature and non-stalkerish message later that day to tell him how great he did and that I was sorry I couldn't stick around to say hi. He quickly responded and requested that I make an appearance that moment! (Who's the stalker now?) I raced over and boy, was he a returned missionary. Little awkward, lots of handshakes, and really bad grammar. We went through pictures of Brazil and he told me story after story about his amazing converts, areas, and companions. It only took me about five minutes to go right back into stalker-mode. We laughed, we listened to "Disney Silly Songs", drank Brazilian mate, and I was fully educated on the customs and culture of Brazil.
The Summer treated us well and I took it upon myself to help Chris adjust back to real life. (Charity. Pure selflessness.) Date nights started to become a little more frequent and I think he liked the idea of staying in a companionship. Things were getting a little more serious and I started to look at Chris totally different. One day, we were at my Grandma's having dinner before all going to the Brigham City Temple open house. My beloved Uncle Jose and his wife, Callie were in town from California to go with us. (Rare treat!) I remember sitting back and watching Chris put on the charm with my family, but especially sticking close to Jose. As a devout Catholic, Jose had never been to a Mormon temple before. He'd always been so supportive of our missions, Personal Progress and seminary graduations, but this was something new. I sat back and watched Elder Brower come alive again. Testimony of the Restoration, forever families, prophets and modern revelation kept those two attached at the hip for the rest of the night. When he came back and sat by me during the open house, I just looked over and smiled. I didn't say it out loud, but I really loved him.It came down to it. It was time to pray and get some answers about this boy in my life! We'd had some serious talks and we agreed that the time had come to start fasting and asking. My revelation came quick. I had never felt so happy or confident about anything in my life. Chris took a little more time. I tried to be patient, but he seemed to be wavering a little. He always said he just needed a little more time, or that he couldn't quite figure out what the Lord was trying to tell him. After a month, I decided to switch gears from stalker to control-freak. I gave Chris the big ultimatum: either we were going to progress in our relationship, or we were going to put an end to whatever it was we had going on. Needless to say, it didn't happen the way I thought it would. He simply told me that the Lord told him it wasn't the right time. I was crushed. A protective big brother did what he could to soften the blow (Jumanji movie night and a full package of Oreos), but I was hurt and didn't understand why my revelation didn't seem to match Chris'. That was the last week of September in 2012.
The following week, I had a lot of questions I needed answered at General Conference. I'd prayed, I'd cried and I fully expected the Lord to give me something good after taking away something I loved so much. Well. As always, He sure did. "I am happy to announce, that worthy, able young women may now begin their missionary service at age 19..." It seems to be a common theme to my life that I remain clueless and in pitty-party-mode when something isn't going just right. I get upset and take it to the Lord, pretty confident that He has forgotten me and my situation, or that He is simply tired of trying to put up with me. THEN, He just slams me with something SO good. Long story, short. Prayers are answered. Duh.Papers were submitted and the Lord called me to serve the good people of Chile. I left just four months after President Monson's announcement for what would be the most challenging and enriching experiences of my life. I felt like the Lord showed me every day why I needed to be a missionary. It was amazing to me to see those investigators trust so fully in Him and literally give over their hearts. I learned what it meant to be teachable, humble and willing to change. I started to better understand the Atonement and how it would enable me to truly become like the Savior. I worked toward and saw the blessings of an enriching and personal relationship with my Father in Heaven. I went on my mission, knowing there was a high chance that Chris would be married to some righteous babe when I got back. But, it didn't matter to me. (at the time.) My mission became my life and I caught glimpses of what my Father in Heaven needed me to be. I've never been so happy. I was serving with five months to go, when out of the blue, I see a familiar name appear in my inbox. "Christopher Brower." After settling down my heart rate, I opened the email. "I realize now just how important you are in my life.." A year of silence and then that boy came right back into my life. We kept it simple, I was still a missionary and that's where my heart needed to be. We wrote for the rest of my mission and I started to remember the answer the Lord gave Chris. "It just wasn't the right time."
A very inspired mission president gave me nothing but advice on seeking an eternal companion for my final interview. President Kahnlein asked if there was anyone special waiting for me at home. I kind of laughed and said, "I'm not really sure what he is. But he's definitely there." He then gave me, what I see now, the most inspired advice. "Hermana Nichols, you must be willing to do things in the time of the Lord. Too often, we think this means being patient, and surely it does at times. But, how many times have you heard in the last 18 months that the Lord is hastening His work? You must be willing to do things out of your comfort zone and quicker than you feel prepared if that is the Lord's wish." My jaw dropped, and to be honest, I was a little upset at the image he was presenting. I told him I had to be POSITIVE before moving forward in any type of serious relationship. Well. Prezzy K is really good at correcting anything foolish you say. He then asked how many investigators I taught on my mission. "A lot." I said. "And how many of those did you just know in your heart, would accept the Gospel?" Happened all the time. "And when they prayed and got their answers, what did you do, Hermana Nichols?" "I invited them to follow the Savior and be baptized." "And when they said 'no', what did you think?" I started to understand. The same way the Lord trusted my investigators and gave them testimonies was the same way He would provide me with the confirmation of the most important choice of my life. The important part is that the Lord expects us to act. Anytime an investigator declined that invitation, my heart sunk. They knew it was true! They knew they would be happy in the gospel! Why weren't they saying 'SI, HERMANA NICHOLS, SI'!? I realized then that the Lord had given me 1,000 reasons and confirmations to move forward, and if I wasn't willing to do so, I was, not only causing sorrow to my Father in Heaven, but I was being disobedient.
Coming home was so surreal. There were a lot of white people, everyone was taller, and my Stake President wouldn't let me wear my name badge anymore. (Still a little bitter about that..) A few days passed and it was time to see him again. Seeing him for the first time after so long was absolutely amazing. (After sweating profusely and receiving coaching from my 16 year old sister on how to avoid any awkwardness) We picked up right where we left off and I remembered quickly why I liked him so much. I have never prayed so much in my life. The temple was a second home to me and I read just about every marriage talk available on lds.org. Answers came. Subtly, but they came. We got engaged September 6th, 2014, just five weeks after I returned home.Everything has been so perfect. Okay, that last part was a joke. There have been some bumps, some tears, and lots of questions (all on my part.) I have turned into a bit of a psycho at times, gotten scared and tried to convince myself that we're not ready, or that we are in over our heads. All of which I am still convinced are true. But, that sweet man holds me close and always reminds me of the obvious. As long as the Savior comes first, and we're both willing to do everything to keep it that way, we're going to be alright. (3 Nephi 13:33) Being engaged has highlighted new flaws and areas of improvement I am working on every day. When I get those down, new ones pop up and we have to start all over again. But it's good. It is SO good. I am in love with someone I know loves the Lord even more. And I wouldn't want it any other way. Our little steps toward eternity have been a ball and I can't wait to stumble and skip and run closer to that goal of ours.
